1. Nobody will give a shit about what you’re doing

This one was really tough for me in the beginning. I’m a textbook Enneagram 3 - Achiever. This means I really like acknowledgment. There is a little monster in the background always yapping “do more, do better,” and it becomes the go-to strategy for dealing with every problem I face. Whether I’m feeling stressed, disconnected, or unmotivated, achieving more (i.e., working more) seems to temporarily remove the discomfort. Still, it always comes back because I didn’t get the acknowledgment I was hoping for. It’s a vicious cycle.

Entrepreneurship has opened my eyes to this truth: Nobody really gives a flying f*ck what you’re spending all those hours doing. It’s best to stop trying to get them to care.

2. You may work more than that stupid 9-to-5 you ditched

If you become an entrepreneur because you have big goals, lots of ideas, are super creative, and want to make money, you will have to work hard for it. It’s never easy. But it is always more enjoyable than working for someone else.

3. You will screw up a lot

I have screwed up several times and seriously paid for it. But with each screwup, the lessons are abundant. Learn the lessons, and you’ll accumulate more successes along the way.

4. It’s lonely

Don’t get me wrong, a long day designing a website in complete silence is nice. I love it. As a creative person, I can get so lost in my projects that I don’t even realize I haven’t seen a real human in days. I have to make an effort to remember to call a friend or take time away from the computer.

5. You’ll need to get comfortable disappointing people

I thought I was a “who cares what they think?!” kind of person. But the first time one of my custom website designs was not to the client’s liking, I got SO stressed. The second time it happened, I stayed up all night trying to make it better. The third time it happened, I eliminated custom designs from my service offerings. I promptly switched to a different model so I could have complete creative control and STOP DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE. I realize now that three unhappy clients in three years isn’t too bad - it’s par for the course as a website designer, but I was surprised by my reaction. It probably has everything to do with #1 above - if achievement equates to worthiness, failure means unworthiness. That’s why it hit so hard.

Okay, I said there were five things. But I have another one. It’s my favorite:

6. You’ll feel like a total bad-ass

Amid all the mistakes and disappointments, I have never felt more empowered in my life. I built a thriving therapy practice in two locations that couldn’t be more different. I built a successful website design business with no formal training. I started both businesses with nothing. I had to uncomfortably execute all the unknown, scary parts of running and marketing two totally different industries. I did the tremendously difficult work of being the expert I needed. I had to do things I didn’t know how to do. I had to recognize the value of patient and relentless commitment. All of the failures, successes, loneliness, late nights, and excessive coffee has left me feeling stronger, more confident, and more resilient than ever. If I could go back and change anything, I wouldn’t. It’s all worth it.